Today, I Felt the Fear. It Was Palpable.

Today was heavy. Really heavy. I sat across from a parent, a father, whose worry was so thick you could almost touch it. His son is turning 21, and with that milestone comes the end of district-provided special education services. The safety net, the structure, the support system he’s relied on for years, is about to disappear.

And he was terrified.

I’ve seen this before, of course. We all have. But today, it hit me in a different way. It wasn’t just a parent’s concern; it was a raw, unfiltered fear of the unknown. He was looking at me, searching for answers, for reassurance. And honestly? I felt like my title, my test scores, my carefully crafted suggestions, they all fell short. They were just words, and his worries were so much bigger than that.

He wasn’t being difficult. He wasn’t demanding the impossible. He was simply trying to understand, trying to prepare, trying to ensure his son wouldn’t be left adrift. He wanted to be educated, to be empowered, but underneath it all, there was this deep-seated fear of being utterly alone in navigating what comes next.

And that’s the reality for so many parents. We, as school psychologists, are often the ones delivering the news, outlining the transition process, and offering resources. But we need to do more than just provide information. We need to acknowledge the emotional weight of this transition. We need to validate their fears.

Because it is scary.

What I learned today, again, is the absolute necessity of emphasizing support beyond the school setting. Transition planning cannot just be about paperwork and checklists. It has to be about building bridges to community resources, vocational training, independent living supports, and ongoing therapy.

Here are some things we can do:

• Start Early: Transition planning shouldn’t begin in the final year. It needs to be a multi-year process, starting well before the student’s 21st birthday.

• Connect with Adult Service Agencies: Facilitate introductions to agencies like the Department of Developmental Services, vocational rehabilitation programs, and independent living centers.

• Educate on Guardianship and Advocacy: Explain the importance of legal guardianship, if applicable, and empower parents to become strong advocates for their children.

• Focus on Life Skills: Emphasize the development of essential life skills, such as budgeting, cooking, and independent living.

• Provide Emotional Support: Create a safe space for parents to express their fears and concerns. Offer empathy and understanding.

• Build a Community: Link parents with support groups and other families facing similar transitions.

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We need to remember that when a student graduates, the parents don't. They are still there, and they need support too.

Today was a reminder that our work goes beyond test scores and IEPs. It’s about human connection, empathy, and understanding the profound impact our work has on families. We need to be a source of information, but also a source of hope, and most importantly, a source of support.